Wednesday 26 August 2009

hangover's a bitch

I woke up today on the street covered in piss. That was about 5 minutes ago. I hope the piss is from me. Something about the blood on my sleeve tells me only half of its mine.
The sign on the street says chown avenue. What a dump. The whole place is trashed. It smells so bad im gonna throw up. I need a drink. I start looking for a bar. There's a cemetery over there. Got some dead people in it. Theyre coming this way.
Oh right. The rotters.
I remember now. Got to get inside. Wait, there's a bottle over there.
Damn, its empty. I keep the bottle and search for a building that isnt all boarded up. Buncha assholes, I can see em inside, sitting around checking the windows and smoking cigarettes.
"HEY ASSHOLE, HOW ABOUT A CIGARETTE?" I yell.
"FUCK OFF!" He says.
"YOU KISS YOUR MOTHER WITH THAT MOUTH?" I shout.
"NAH, I KISS YOURS" he says.
"MY MOTHERS DEAD YOU SICK FUCK" I yell.
"I KNOW. HERE SHE COMES NOW." He says pointing behind me.
I turn around, and dear old mom looks like shes coming in for a hug and kiss, arms wide open, and the bitch tries to bite my ear off. She's hungry. I smash her in the face with the bottle. It breaks. She falls down a bit.
"You're not my real mom anyway." I say, as I place my foot down on her head. I hear her neck snap wetly and quietly, like a chicken bone with the meat still on. The wishbone.
"I wanna pony" I say.
I really need a drink.